Genealogy

Genealogy begins as an interest,
Becomes a hobby;
Continues as an avocation,
Appears as a duty-bound vision,
And in its last stages,
Is an incurable disease.

--Author Unknown

Now many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

CHORUS
Oh, I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle though it was very sad.
For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter who of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue,
Because although she is my wife she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild,
And every time I think of it it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw.
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

-- Copyright Dwight Latham and Moe Jaffe, 1947. 
Based on a Mark Twain Anecdote

First son was named after the father's father.
Second son was named after the mother's father.
Third son was named after the father.
Fourth son was named after the father's oldest brother.
Fifth son was named after the father's 2nd oldest brother or mother's oldest brother.

First daughter was named after the mother's mother.
Second daughter was named after the father's mother.
Third daughter was named after the mother.
Fourth daughter was named after the mother's oldest sister.
Fifth daughter is named after the mother's 2nd oldest sister or father's oldest sister.

English and Welsh Naming Pattern ...

First daughter was named after the mother's mother.
Second daughter was named after the mother's father's mother.
Third daughter was named after the mother.
Fourth daughter was named after the mother's oldest sister.

First son was named after the father's father.
Second son was named after the mother's father.
Third son was named after the father.
Fourth son was named after the father's oldest brother.

Irish Naming Pattern ...

First son after father's father
Second son after mother's father
Third son after father
Fourth son after father's oldest brother
Fifth son after mother's oldest brother

First daughter after mother's mother (or father's mother)
Second daughter after father's mother (or mother's mother)
Third daughter after mother
Fourth daughter after mother's oldest sister
Fifth daughter after father's oldest sister

Scottish Naming Pattern ...

First son was named after his father's father
Second son was named after his mother's father
Third son was named after his father

First daughter was named for her mother's mother
Second daughter was named for her father's mother
Third daughter was named after her mother
Other daughters were named after other family members

Old German ...

The first name of each daughter was usually the first name of the mother.
The first name of the son was usually the first name of the father.
Often the middle name of each child was the name of the baby's baptismal sponsor and they were usually called by his/her middle name.

18th Century Pennsylvania German Naming Pattern ...

First son after the father's father
Second son after the mother's father
Third son after the father
Fourth son after the paternal grandfather
Fifth son after the maternal grandfather
Sixth son after the paternal grandfather
Seventh son after the maternal grandfather

First daughter after the mother's mother
Second daughter after the father's mother
Third daughter after the mother
Fourth daughter after the father's father's mother
Fifth daughter after the mother's father's mother
Sixth daughter after the father's mother's mother
Seventh daughter after the mother's mother's mother

Sephardic Naming Pattern ...

First son is named after his paternal grandfather
Second son is named after his maternal grandfather
Third son is named after his paternal great-grandfather
Fourth son is named after his maternal great-grandfather

Daughters are similarly named after their grandmothers and great grandmothers.

Italian Naming Pattern ...

First son is named after father's father
Second son is named after mother's father
Third son is named after father's brother
Fourth son is named after mother's brother

First daughter is named after father's mother
Second daughter is named after mother's mother
Third daughter is named after father's sister
Fourth daughter is named after mother's sister

http://www.honeyshome.com/nampatt.php

http://genealogy.about.com/library/humor/blpoetry.htm

http://genealogy.about.com/library/humor/blsongs.htm